Lili's Adventures in Wonderland
by ACupOfMapleTea
Summary: Doesn't the title say everything? My first multi-chaptered fanfiction. Liechtenstein as Alice, Canada as the White Rabbit, China as the Doorknob, and others. Human names used. AU. Rated T for Romano's infamous potty mouth. No pairings.
1. Down The Bunny Hole

Lili's Adventures in Wonderland

Lili sat on the soft grass next to her big brother, Vash Zwingli, who was reading a fairly large book. They were sitting under a large overcup oak tree, which provided plenty of shade. Lili was starting to feel a little bored sitting there, staring at those little yellow flowers that you seem to be able to find just about anywhere, but she didn't want to disturb her big brother. He seemed so peaceful for once, just sitting there and reading instead of threatening their neighbors to get of the lawn before he shot them down with his prized SG550 assault rifle or worrying about their financial problems. Even though they had plenty of money but you never know. That annoying, self- proclaimed Prussian Gilbert might get drunk again with his two French and Spanish friends and blast another hole in his house/mansion. Or drive another car into it. Or…

"Lili?" Vash had put the book down in his lap and was now looking at his sister. "I'm sorry, you must be bored. Do you want to play a game?"

"Okay, Big Bruder." She answered.

"I'll go find some cards or something." Vash stood up and began to walk back to the house/mansion. "Don't fall asleep."

Lili crawled to the tree trunk, producing a few grass stains on her frilly blue dress and apron, and sat with her back to it. She looked up at the branches and leaves as she waited. After a while she began to feel a little drowsy. Lili rested her head against the trunk.

"I'm sorry Big Bruder; I'm just going to take a small nap." She mumbled before she closed her eyes.

When she woke up, Lili saw something move in the rose bushes. She sat up at attention, staring at the bushes with caution when a boy suddenly emerged from in between the roses. He, well Lili assumed it was a he, had blonde hair, was wearing a red waistcoat and a particularly large golden watch. She also noticed that there were two large rabbit ears on his head, the same color as his hair, which she found odd of course. Lili managed to see that much before the boy ran away, heading down a path leading deeper into the lush garden. Lili stood up and ran after the rabbit boy.

"Switzy (a nickname that she made for Vash) never said anything about boys with bunny ears so they must be safe." She told herself as she followed said bunny boy into the rose maze. After a few turns and intersections, Lili rounded a corner just in time to see the hybrid hop over a small ledge and disappear on the other side .She noticed that he also had a tail. The girl stopped in front of the ledge and looked over the leaves to find a large rabbit hole.

"I wonder how deep it is?" She asked herself." I don't think I should go any farther than this." As Lili turned to leave, she slipped and fell over the ledge, into the hole.

"AAAAAA," Lili began to scream but she noticed that she wasn't really falling; it was more like floating."Aaaaaaaahhhhhh…" The girl looked around and noticed that it wasn't completely dark. Lili could see lots of random (mainly household) objects floating around. She was staring at particularly interesting chair that looked like it had been blown up several times and someone had taped and glued it together after the assumed explosions when gravity proved that it was still working and Lili was introduced to a checkered floor. It was lighter in this room but the source was unknown. When she stood up, Lili noticed that there was only one door and it was about the size of a teacup.

"Hmm… I wonder how I am to fit in that door."

"You drink that potion, aru." said a voice that seemed to be emitting from the door. Lili got on her knees to get a better look.

"What an unusual door knob." She commented.

"Hey! I am a Chinese door knob, thank you very much, aru." The 'Chinese door knob' shot back.

"So Mr. Chinese door knob-"

"Aaiiyaaa! That's not my name! I am Wang Yao, the Chinese door knob, aru." Corrected the door knob.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Mr. Wang, you said something about a potion, am I correct?" Lili asked politely.

"Hm you certainly know your manners, xiao nuhai." Yao was mentally nodding his head in approval. "Shi, that potion over there on the table will shrink you, hopefully."

"Hopefully?"

"The Mad Hatter, Arthur Kirkland, made it himself and his magical concoctions, actually concoctions in general, and spells tend to ,er , fail ,aru. A lot."

"Oh. I see." Lili stood up and turned around to find a table that she was positive was not there before. I mean really positive. As positive as an Italian who had just been granted a lifetime of pasta and tomatoes. On the table was a light blue vial with a darker blue liquid inside and a key.

"Use that key to unlock me, like in the game Kingdom Hearts!" Yao informed as she picked up the vial and key. She wasn't going to leave it on the table. If she did, she wouldn't be able to retrieve it when she shrank.

"Um, I don't know that game…" Lili removed the stopper and ,for whatever reason, deemed it safe and drank the liquid.

"It kind of tastes like tea." She told the door knob as she shrank. The now mini-sized Lili dragged the key over to the door. "Do I stick this in your mouth or-"

"Meiyou! I mean no! You just hold it up in front of you and-" Lili had lifted the key and a ball of light that appeared at the end of it. Suddenly everything was bathed in a golden light and Lili dropped the key to shield her eyes. When the light faded away, the door was open and she could see grass, but the grass seemed to be taller than the door. Curious, Lili walked through the door to find herself in a very large and luscious garden. Well, she was shorter than the grass so all she could see was the abnormally large grass and flowers.

"Farewell! Zaijian!"

Lili turned around to see the door and door knob amongst the grass.

"Oh! Good bye, Mr. Wang! Abschied!" Lili waved. She heard something move behind her and quickly turned around. The grass rustled for a while and then stopped. Lili stood there warily watching. Then two identical boys emerged from the blades of grass and stumbled over each other. _Why do boys keep mysteriously appearing from the foliage? _The girl wondered.


	2. TweedleTwins,the Duchess,and Freeloader

"Ouch! Get of me!" said the boy with a strand of hair that stuck out of his head to the right. It kind of turned into a swirl at the end.

"Ve~, I'm sorry, fratello!" the other boy had a stand of hair that suck out in the opposite direction.

"Um, are you okay?" asked Lili. They reminded her of two other boys in her neighborhood.

"Hm? Oh lookie, Tweedle-Lovi, a cute –"the boy with lighter brown hair started.

"Ragazza. What are you doing here?" finished the other boy with the darker, chestnut-colored hair.

_Did he just call me a rag?_ Lili wondered. "I was following a boy with bunny ears-"

"Oh, he must be-"

"Matthew Williams, the Canadian Rabbit. We saw him running towards the castle shouting-"

"'Oh dear! I'm late again!' He's always late isn't he?"

"Si, Tweedle-Feli. I'm surprised the Queen hasn't beheaded that Maple Bastard."

"Ve~ That's not very nice~"

"Oh. My name is Lili Zwingli, by the way." the girl introduced herself.

"Oh~ I'm Tweedle-Feli and he's my twin-"

"Tweedle-Lovi. We are the Italian Tweedle twins." Said the Tweedle twins.

"It's nice to meet you." Lili curtsied.

"It's nice to meet such a pretty girl like you, too." Tweedle-Feli smiled a closed-eyed smile that was brighter than the sun. Or at least brighter than that light bulb over there. Tweedle-Lovi rolled his eyes.

"Where am I?" Lili asked.

"You're in Wonderland." The twins answered in unison.

"Anyways, do you want to play a game?" asked Tweedle-Lovi.

"Oh yes, a game! What should we play? Hide-n-go seek?" offered Tweedle-Feli.

"Tag? Rock-paper-scissors?" the other boy continued.

"Hopscotch? Kagome kagome?"

"We can't play that, Pasta Bastard, there isn't enough people!"

"We could use the grass or something-"

"No! That's a stupid, una cazzata idea!"

Tweedle-Feli gasped. "Loviii~ It is not!"

Lili assumed he said something she would be better off not knowing. "Um…"

"Yes it is, stupid Pasta Bastard!"

"No its not!" He stomped his foot and glared at his twin.

"Yes it is! "Tweedle-Lovi glared back.

"Excuse me, but I must leave now. Auf Wiedersehen." Lili really didn't want to stay and watch the twins fight so she walked past them and down a small dirt path between the grass. Said twins were too busy having a glaring contest to notice. The girl continued down the path of dirt to an unknown destination. She looked up at the oversized grass and giant flowers. There were some that the aristocratic girl recognized and some that looked like it came from another planet. Soon the dirt path became cobblestone and mansion came into view. The path stopped in front of the mansion's huge double doors. Lili noticed that someone was pacing in front of the entrance on the patio. That someone had blonde bunny ears.

"Oh, Mr. Williams!" Lili called out.

"There you are, Feliks. I was looking for you. Why are you in a dress, eh? Nevermind that I need you to retrieve the Duchess's gloves and fan." Matthew babbled. He had a whispery sort of voice. When he turned to look at 'Feliks' Lili noticed that he also had a strand of hair that stuck out of his head. It stuck out in the middle of his forehead and curled at the end so there was a little loop.

_He must have mistaken me for someone else _Lili thought. "I'm sorry but I'm-"

"Please, Feliks? You never really do what I say anyways nor pay attention even though you're supposed to be my assistant, eh." He begged.

Lili decided to improve this 'Feliks' reputation and do as the Canadian asked. "Okay. Where does the Duchess live?"

"Oh, merci Feliks! Please hurry. The Duchess lives here." The boy gestured to the mansion. "I thought you knew that."

"I'll be right back." Lili knocked on the door. It silently opened after a moment of silence. The girl found that odd but Matthew didn't say anything so she strode in. Lili was familiar with mansions so she wasn't bothered by the abnormally large hallway or extremely expensive looking furniture and décor. She did notice that there were many weapons on display, however. Curious, the girl posing as Feliks stopped and stared at a bejeweled frying pan? She stood there until the sound of footsteps reached her ears. Lili turned and saw a woman storming towards her. The woman seemed to be in her mid-thirties and was wearing something like cross between a dress and armor. She had a few small yellow flowers that were tucked behind her ear.

"Who are you?" she demanded. There was a sword and frying pan at her side.

"My name is Lili Zwingli. Mr. Williams sent me to retrieve your gloves and fan." Lili answered calmly.

"Mr. Williams?" the older woman looked like she was trying to remember who in Wonderland was Mr. Williams. "Oh! Bunny Boy?"

"Err, yes. May I ask who you are? You look like someone I know."

"Oh yeah. I am the Duchess, Elizaveta Hedervary. I think I left my gloves and fan somewhere around here… Come." Said the Duchess. She turned and walked down a hallway. Lili followed her into what seemed to be a kitchen.

"You can sit down over there." Elizaveta waved towards a row of chairs along the counter. Lili sat down on the chair closest to her. There was a man cooking at the stove. He was wearing a plain blue shirt and khaki pants, covered by a white apron. Lili watched as spices were added to what she guessed was soup and ingredients were carefully measured.

"Hallo." Lili started.

"Hallo. I am Roderich Edelstein." He said.

"Yeah, he's a freeloader." Came the Duchess' muffled comment.

"I most certainly am not a freeloader!" Roderich shot back as he stirred his concoction. Yup. Definitely soup.

"Whatever you say, your Highness."

Roderich hmphed and went back to adding various spices to his soup. After the ladle made a few more trips around the inside of the pot, he poured some of the creamy liquid into a small bowl and set it down in front of Lili. Lili saw that Roderich wore glasses and had a strand of hair that stuck out of his head as well. It stuck up.

"Would you like to try some?" he asked.

"Oh. Danke." Lili accepted the spoon Roderich offered her. The man watched as she carefully blew on the spoon to cool the liquid. He smiled when the girl told him it was delicious.

"I found them!" Elizaveta held up her gloves and fan triumphantly. "Here you go, Lili Zwingli." She set the needed items on the table.

"Danke. I must leave now." Lili stood up.

"I'll see you out, then." Offered Elizaveta.

"I'll be fine. Auf Wiedersehen Mrs. Hedervary, Mr. Edelstein." Lili left with the fan and gloves. She heard the two adults say good-bye as well. When Lili exited the mansion, Matthew was nowhere to be seen.

"Oh no, did I take too long?" the girl asked the bushes in front of her.

"Yes you did." Came a voice from above. Lili looked up to see another boy. This time he was sitting in the trees, in between the branches. She couldn't see much of him though; just enough to be able to tell the figure in the tree was male and not female. _And yet another boy appears from the foliage, _Lili mused.


End file.
